after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
