u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize