WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize