There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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