Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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