Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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