Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
