Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
