He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
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Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
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Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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