i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
