Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
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I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
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I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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