I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
