I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
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Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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