get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
