Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
