Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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