if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
