I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
