i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i think i just lost a toe
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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