living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
