Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
