I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
