Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
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It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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