you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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