I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
