I hate your face
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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