your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
