You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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