How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
