I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
