you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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