As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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