i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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