In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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