She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Send help, water and tortillas.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
