He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
