im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
