Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize