I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
