wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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