Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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