I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
