ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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