every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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