Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
