Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i came on her dog
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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