I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
