Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
