ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
