ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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