I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
