Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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