two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
