i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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